Can I be Forgiven?
by TheAngelofFate
Summary: Sirius has made a mistake, he knows that he has messed up big time. He's sorry, Sirius is so sorry. But the question remains- Will Remus forgive him? Set two months after the Prank, where Sirius almost get Snape killed. NO SLASH!
1. Chapter 1

*****I don't own Harry Potter, If i did Sirius, Remus, and everyone else would still be alive and in Harry's life!*

A/N: Alright I have been inspired by so many authors about Harry Potter that I have decided to make one of my own…. I have always been a HP fan and it's sad that it has ended…. And I know that this kind of fic has probably been done lot of times. But I wanted to make fic about Sirius and Remus...(Friendship...Sorry SiriusxRemus fangirls...But i will NEVER write anything like that)

I hope some of you DC, and TMNT fangirls are HP fans like me? I hope you guys are still with me!

P.S. As I have said before I don't care that Sirius or Remus, Peter, and James maybe OOC, Just like with Bruce i want to show their sensitive sides, more with Sirius! Cuz he's my first fav marauder! Leave a review! Feed the starving author once more!

Also I truly apologize if this story does not make any since or is too confusing, or is rushed, or is a run-on...But i tried my best to write for the HP world...

I don't know where I am going with this, but review! Tell me if this was worth all the numbness my butt felt for hours! I need to know how I did on my first HP story! Please REVIEW! XD

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Can I ever be Forgive?

I was not in a good mood today, I wasn't angry at anybody in particular, more at myself really. When I told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow two months ago, It wasn't my intention to get him killed, No.. I'm not like that, I'm NOT like my family. I only wanted to scare him, so that way he would stop bothering not only me, but also my friends. Course at the time I didn't think of what the consequences would bring. Now Remus, one of my best friends isn't speaking to me... It's my fault, I know that, I was the one who screwed up, no one else but me...

I lay on the grass next to the beech tree near the lake, just a peaceful Wednesday morning. My eyes closed and lost in my own thoughts to pay any attention to the things going on around me. James is talking, but I'm too caught up in my thoughts to listen to what he's saying. It's only after a couple of minutes-

"- Then me and the Giant Squid danced until dawn under its underwater kingdom"

"What?" I asked completely confused, as I opened my eyes

"Ha! Gotcha Padfoot" he said grinning

"Very funny Prongs" I said dully

"What's wrong Sirius?" Peter asked noticing the tone in my voice

I sighed. But I didn't answer right away, after a few minutes I said- "Remus hates me"

"No he doesn't, He's just-"

"-Not speaking to me, which is even worse" I said sitting up, looking from James to Peter.

"Don't worry Pads, he'll come round!" James said slapping me on the back

"When? Look how long it took you guys to start talking to me again, let alone even being near me" I asked furiously, at the time it took James and Peter a month before they would speak to me.

"Yes, but Remus is the most affected by all that's happened, you know" Peter answered as he lowered his head,

I opened my mouth, then closed it, he was right.

"Hey look! There he is!" James announced, pointing to Remus as he walked across the grounds.

Peter cupped his hands over his mouth and called "Hey! Remus!". Remus in turn saw Peter and James, then took a step forward, but retreated when he saw me. He gave me a hurtful looking stare, turned around and walked away.

I stared after him, bowing my head.

"See what I mean" I told my friends

"Yeah…." James muttered looking sad

"I think…. Either me or you James should go talk to him" Peter said

I turned to Peter, shocked "No! I don't want him to be mad at you guys too" I protested

"Yeah. Let's do that Wormtail" James said completely ignoring me

"But Prongs-" I began, wanting to in some way talk them out of it, it's bad enough Remus isn't speaking to me. If he stops talking to James and Peter then he'll be all alone. Like he was before he met us.

When we first figured out his secret, Remus hesitantly admitted to us that he was always alone (him being a werewolf and all) before he came to Hogwarts, when we became his friends he said that he never wanted to feel that loneliness never again. We promised him he wouldn't.

"-Calm down Padfoot, Everything will be fine!" he said cheerfully as he gave me one of his goofy grins.

I sighed "Alright…"

...

...

I came out of Professor Flitwicks's classroom, more upset than I was an hour ago. I have been doing horrible in most of my classes. Every class I had was with Remus, I can never concentrate, because either he sits right next to me or facing me.

As the class ended Flitwick held me back. He asked me if anything was wrong, I gave the usual response and said that I was fine. I'd thought he believed me, I realized I was wrong when he said as I got up from my desk-

"I have noticed for the past two months that you and Mr. Lupin have not been talking the way you usually do, Is everything alright between the pair of you?" he asked in his high-pitched voice. Again I said that everything was fine and made a quick run to the door.

Coming out I looked up and saw Wormtail coming towards me- "Did you talk to Remus?" I asked when he reached me.

"Oh I talk to him….." he said as he began walking again

"And?" I pressed

"And he wouldn't listen…. Said that he had other things to worry about" Peter said sadly

I looked at the ground. Feeling hurt, and disappointed. "Oh..."

"Sorry" Wormtail squeaked out

"You did your best" I said trying to reassure him

He gave a slight nod and then we walked to go to the Great Hall. When we arrived, Wormtail and I heard two people talking loudly. We both recognized who they were immediately.

"Please Prongs! I don't want to talk!" we heard Remus say

"Well how about this; I talk and you listen" James said

We found James standing over Remus as he sat at the Gryffindor Table his homework on the table, forgotten.

"Please James!" Remus begged

"I know what he did was very _very_ wrong…. But can't you see how sorry he is? Can't you just talk to him?" James asked desperately

"Your one to talk, look at how long it took _you_ to talk to him" Remus said harshly glaring at James.

"Yeah, but at least I am talking to him _now_" James said tiredly

"He's our best mate; He was the one who told you that we would always be here for you and your problem" he said saying 'problem' quietly.

Remus opened his mouth, and then closed it, lowering his head, apparently at a loss for words.

People were staring at them, muttering to each other, probably wondering who they were talking about. I wished they would stop, why did Prongs have to start something here? _Where are the damn Prefects and Teachers when you really wanted or needed them around? _

James looked around realizing that he was causing a scene, he stiffened little.

"Prongs…. Please" Remus begged again lifting his head up, his eyes found mine and watched me for a moment then grew slightly wide as if he saw something that completely shocked him. I realized what had when my vision became misty. I blinked rapidly, I was crying? Really? I hardly ever cry...(Well not in public or in front James, Peter and... Remus before the prank.) But it was true... It absolutely shocked me.

I hadn't noticed, I was too wrapped up into what James and Remus were saying.

James turned his head toward me, his eyes turning guilty. I turned my head and saw that everyone was staring at me, like I was some kind of brand new item in one of the windows in Hogsmeade.

_Merlin's beard! Paint a portrait of me, it'll last longer! _

It's not like it was their first time seeing someone cry before! I guess... it's because no one at Hogwarts has ever seen _me_ cry before.

Immediately I became very embarrassed, then I heard-

"Really cousin? You're a Black and you're showing weakness! You're a pathetic, useless, embarrassment to the Black family legacy!"

Feeling suddenly angry I whipped my head to my left and saw Bellatrix, my tears spilled over, but I glared at my cousin nonetheless.

"Ohhhhh! Did I hit a nerve there cousin? Oh No! Run everyone! My pathetic cousin is angry! RUN!" she shrieked sarcastically

Like clockwork all the Slytherins students starting laughing, then some Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs. Really? I can expect this from the Slytherins, but not at all from the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. All my anger melt away when everyone started laughing, like I was some kind of freak that was putting on a show for their entertainment, like any second I would be pelted with food. My throat became horribly tight. I took a step back, then another, and bolted from the Great Hall.

I could hear James and Peter calling out to me; I thought for a moment that I had heard Remus as well. I scoffed a little at that thought. I ran and kept running, when my feet hit the muddy grass I knew that I was somewhere in the grounds, but at the moment I couldn't care less. I just needed to get away…away from the laughter of all the students.

How can people be that way? So cruel as to laugh at other people's pain? Couldn't they see that the reason I was upset was because that my best mate is never going to speak to me again? And _not _just because I was being weak?

I collapsed onto the ground, taking huge gulps of air to fill my burning lungs. But it seemed that the more air I breathed in, the worse the burning in my chest became. I put my right hand to my chest and squeezed, trying to lessen the burning sensation. My left hand touched something hard and rough... I looked up and saw that I was at the beech tree again?

Had I really gone that far? I then noticed something else, it was dark outside. That came as a shock to me. How long was I actually here for? When I bolted from the Great Hall it was still light outside.

It seemed like I just got here. I slowly got up and began making the long way back to the castle. I took my time though, not really wanting to go back to Gryffindor Tower and face...everyone, to face _them_. I had just reached the Stone Circle, when I heard-

"I was wondering how long you were going to stay by that tree and mull in self pity…"

It was dark, my back was turned, but I didn't need to see the person to know who it was. "Leave me alone Snape…"

"Is my ickle cousin still showing weakness? How pathetic!"

I turned toward where Bellatrix's voice was. "What do you two want anyway!?"

"Well I think it's quite obvious, by showing weakness you have dishonored our family, so I am here to put an end to you and your embarrassing being" she laughed loudly

"And I am here….Because you almost got me killed, Black!" Snape snarled as I heard him and Bellatrix draw their wands.

Slowly I pulled out mine; two against one….this should be fun, for them…..

_"Expelliarmus!"_ Snape shouted

_"Stupefy!"_ I said loudly dodging to my left

_"Stupefy!"_ he bellowed

_Crap!_ That knocked me off my feet, getting up quickly I noticed….That Bellatrix was gone! I looked around but all I could see was Snape's silhouette. _Get it together Padfoot! _

Then out of nowhere, she had me in a choke hold, and I felt her put the tip of her wand up against my back.

"Heh…Pathetic" she snarled into my ear. _"Crucio!"_

I let out the most blood curdling scream I have ever made in my life. You think I'd be used to it after all the times my father has used it on me. But I have never had it used on me that close before.

She let me go and I fell onto my stomach. The burning sensation was throughout my entire body now. I couldn't move, or do anything when Snape approached me.

"Oooh revenge is sweet!" I heard him snarl then-_"Sectumsempra!"_

I screamed again, it was like a thousand knifes just tore through my body. Knocking me on my back, I could feel liquid flowing down my body, and realized it was my blood. I coughed rapidly, spitting up blood as I do so, just trying to clear my lungs so that I could breathe.

"Well I think we're done playing with him, Snape! Leave!" I heard Bellatrix bark at Snape

_Great, family bonding…. _I thought weakly, hearing Snape walk away, leaving me and Bellatrix alone.

"So I think I should put an end to your pathetic misery" she says pointing her wand at my face

_Is that her favorite word or something? _I closed my eyes. I'm so tried, I just want this unbearable pain, my thoughts, my cousin crazy scary laughter, all of that and everything else to just..._stop_.

But my thoughts keep going, keep remembering my friends: Prongs, Wormtail, Moony.

I gulped, tasting iron; _Moony…..Remus…._

I have never felt so much guilt in my life. Everything that was happening right now is my fault; I deserve what is about to happen to me, and more. I have been such a lousy friend, I had promised to Remus that he could always count on us to never betray him, And what did I do? I went and did the very thing that I said I wouldn't do. I turned around and stabbed the most helpful, responsible, caring, giving person I have ever met in the back. I just wished I could apologize to Remus one more time…I'm going to die knowing that my best friend hates me...

I wheezed causing blood to pour from the corner of my mouth.

_"Avada-!" _

_"Expelliarmus!"_ I heard a muffled voice yell

I started to lose conciseness from the loss of blood. "Who dares-!?" Bellatrix began but couldn't finish as I heard someone shout-

_"Stupefy!"_

I felt someone carefully pick me up with one arm. I flinched painfully and tried to pull away from their grip. But found I had no strength left in me, so I ended up laying my head on the shoulder of whoever was holding me. I gave another blood filled cough.

Then I passed out…..

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A/N: sorry it's so short and if it doesn't make ANY sense whatsoever! I'll see you guys in the next chapter! Or not deplaned ing if this is even worth continuing.

PLEASE REVIEW!

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	2. Chapter 2

AN: So heres the second chapter. This one goes out to _Accalia Slivermoon_. Who seems to really enjoy this story. I really hope she enjoys this one, like she did with chapter 1. and though it's not what she expected or wanted I hope she likes it too.

So like always; READ & REVIEW

And I'll see yous guys in the next chapter! :)

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Chapter 2.

I woke up to hearing voices around me, they sounded frightened and concerned. Where was I? I don't remember...

"Do you think he'll be alright?" a voice asked

"I won't know the condition of his injuries until he wakes up" said a feminine voice, who I knew immediately was Madam Pomfrey.

So I was in the Hospital Wing. I was wondering why I felt so comfortable.

"He really doesn't look good, does he?" squeaked a voice when Madam Pomfrey lifted the room.

"What do you excepted? He got the Cruciatus Curse cast on him, plus a spell no one has ever even heard of" came another voice that sounded irritated.

"I'm sorry James…. It's just I have ever seen anyone look this bad before, let alone Sirius" replied the squeaky voice

I kept my eyes closed, I wasn't really feeling well to answer any of their questions that I knew they were dying to ask. This was the first time I wished that they would just leave, I feel rubbish, and exhausted.

I heard James sigh. "I know Wormtail….. I'm sorry too; I guess I'm not use to it either."

So Peter was here too, but then was Remus here as well? Did he even know?

As if he had read my thoughts James asked-

"Does Remus know?"

I could _feel_ Peter shake his head. "No he doesn't, He was still asleep when you told me, and when I went to tell him what happened, He said to tell him later.…I think he's still asleep…."

"Does Professor Dumbledore know who saved him?" James asked curiosity in his voice

"No... Said that he wished that he could thank whoever did save Sirius from whoever attacked him" Peter replied

I heard James make a noise between a hiss and a growl. "Those sick, soulless bastards!" Then I heard glass being thrown at the wall.

"Mr. Potter! Control yourself!"

"S-Sorry Professor McGonagall" James said shakily

"..It's quite alright, anyway I think it's time for you and Mr. Pettigrew to leave" she said

"But-!" James and Peter began to protest

"Before you cause Mr. Black here anymore distress, he is after all, not in a good state to be woken up by someone throwing things around this room"

"Yes Professor…" James and Peter said in unison and quietly walked out of the room.

Silence filled room for a moment.

"You should feel very glad Mr. Black, to have such good friends…. as well as Mr. Lupin even though he is distant at the moment, the three of them obviously care a great deal about you." she said. So she knew that I was awake this whole time?

"And that is not something a lot of people get to have or see in their lives…" as I felt her leave too

I doubted that Remus cares about what happened to me. But yeah I guess she is half right.

Very easily I drifted off to sleep…..

...

...

I spent five days in the Hospital Wing, I managed to convince Dumbledore to let me out on the sixth day telling him honestly, that I was about to go crazy if I spent another day in here, he told me that I could take as much time as I needed to get to feeling better. And to be very careful not to overdo it as because they still haven't gotten the counter curse off from the spell that almost killed me, I haven't told them who attacked me. When they asked I said that I didn't remember. I knew if I did said who did it, my family would only torture me worse than what Bellatrix did to me, reasons for one: Showing weakness and two: Getting Bellatrix and a fellow Slytherin expelled.

So since they don't know what the spell was or the counter curse, I was still in alot of pain but the bleeding had lessened some, so that was a good thing, I guess.

But what brought me down was that in those days Remus didn't come to see me once. James said that Remus has been very distracted lately, that was very surprising, Remus isn't that easily distracted.

"He's has also been doing poorly on some of his assignments." James told me as he and Peter helped me out of the Hospital Wing early that evening.

"What!?" I said loudly, Remus was not the type of person to just start failing all of his classes suddenly. He would always cram in as much reading as he brain would allow two weeks before a big test, and then be completely exhausted afterwards. He would always finish an assignment the day that it was given to him while the rest of us would procrastinate until the day it was due.

"Yeah, we asked him if he was alright" Peter replied

"And?"

"And nothing, he just walked away" Peter sighed

I groaned.

"Something is definitely wrong with him" James confirmed

"Yeah! Let's go and talk to him-" I said

"Not you! Are you mad!? You just got out of the Hospital, like two minutes ago. Remember what Dumbledore said!" Peter said turning his head toward me quickly.

"But I'm fi-"

"You are _so_ _not_ fine. You can talk to Remus, work everything out after you are heal and feeling better" James told me giving one his looks.

I look at the two of them; both were giving me stern looks that said "No way in hell". Their minds were made up.

"Okay…..fine" I said in defeat

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Remus's POV

{Five Days ago}

I can't believe myself...I can't believe how horrible I have been to Sirius lately. I know that he feels dreadful for what happened eight weeks ago. I know, he's apologized tons of times...yet I still haven't talked to him... What he did hurt, especially since he was the first one who said that he would never tell anyone my secret...Yes, it hurt horribly... I just can't trust him anymore...But he knows that he made a mistake, and is sorry he made it. And yet I haven't talk to him, or even looked at him for that matter... James and Peter have forgiven him, I just can't… just can't trust him.

I try really hard to do my homework as I sit at the Gryffindor Table, but found that I just couldn't concentrate as my thoughts kept re-playing in my head.

"Hey! Remus!" I look up and see James standing over me. I knew what he was here about.

"Please Prongs! I don't want to talk!" I found myself begging

"Well how about this; I talk and you listen" James said, Why was he doing this to me? I know that I should forgive Sirius, and trust him again... I also know that I'm being a rubbish friend, and James knows that too.

Prongs says something else, I suddenly was angry- "Your one to talk, look at how long it took _you_ to talk to him" I said harshly. Glaring at him, not hearing his retort of what I said.

Then James said "-He was the one who told you that we would always be here for you and your problem"

I opened my mouth, but found that I had nothing to say...He was right...I knew he was. I bowed my head, more ashamed of myself than ever. I didn't want to talk about this, not in front of everyone, or at all.

"Prongs…Please" I begged once more. Wishing he would drop the subject, at least for now. I looked up and saw that Sirius and Peter were now in the Great Hall as well. My eyes meet with Sirius, I stared at him for a moment. Seeing the pain and guilt on his face and in his eyes, didn't help the shame that I felt knowing that I was causing it.

My shame grew when I saw- That Sirius was crying? He never cried in front of anyone, not even Peter, James and I. When he could control it that is. I had asked him once, why he never cried when he was obviously hurting, wanting and needing the comfort of his friends.

His reply was "I'm in a family where crying, is a show of weakness, and though I think that everything that my parents have done or thought of is wrong and cruel. That one quote that my father always says as he punished me 'To cry is showing that you are weak!' Is the only thing that I have taken to heart."

He may have taken it to heart then, but now is a different story. Now he was crying and showing his emotions...

Then I heard Bellatrix shriek something, but still coming over my guilt of seeing Sirius crying to hear what that crazy woman said. Then before I knew it the whole Great Hall was laughing, not because someone made a joke, no they were laughing at Sirius!

He then ran out of the Great Hall.

"Sirius! Wait!" Peter and James said in unison, running after him.

He made a horrible mistake...That much is true, but up until the prank, he has always been there for me, he is the brother I never had and it took this incident to make me realize it now.

I turned and glared at everyone who laughed at my friend- "Sirius!" I called running to catch up with Prongs and Wormtail who were outside the Great Hall door's.

"Where could he have gone?" Peter asked concerned as he looked around.

"Let's check the Map" I suggested

"No...We have to go to class.." James said looking down at the floor

"What!? You choose _now_ to be worried about being last to our next class!" Peter and I said astonished and annoyed.

"Look Moony, I want to find as much as you do, But we're no good to Sirius if we are all in detention, besides we haven't finished getting all the secret entrances down on the Map, for all we know Sirius might have found one and didn't tell us about it, just in case a moment like this happened, so he could be left alone.. Hopefully he'll be at the Gryffindor Tower when we get back from our classes." James said looking at me and Peter quickly.

I could tell that he really did want to go look for our friend. He was also right about getting being late to class, we couldn't help Sirius if we were all in detention.

I sighed, then nodded. Looking at James in silence to show that I understood. Peter then nodded as well and turned to the Grand Staircase, James turned to follow-

"-Guys! I'm...I'm sorry.." I blurted out looking down at the floor, I tried to focus on the cracks between each stone on the ground, anything was better than looking at my friends, and seeing the judgment on their faces...

Then I felt a pressure on my shoulder, which caused me to look up. James was standing beside me, his hand on my shoulder, trying to give some comfort, giving me one of his goofy grins.

Peter was also beside me, and he too gave me a reassuring smile. I sighed in relief, giving one of my own small smiles.

"Thanks guys." I said honestly

"It'll be fine, Moony. You and Sirius will work everything out soon." James said patting my back with his hand

Then the three of us going in opposite directions, (Peter going to Charms, James going to Potions, and me going to Herbology) left the Great Hall entrance.

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AN: Its short I know. And still probably doesn't make ANY sense. But I hope its good nonetheless.

Remember to Read & Review! XD


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Okay guys here is chapter 3, Hope you enjoy it. Please Read and Review!

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Chapter 3

Herbology seemed to go on forever, I couldn't concentrate, I was worried about Sirius and wondered where he was. Professor Violet had noticed that I wasn't paying attention and assigned me 3 hours to 'make up' the work that I was failing to listen to, not really detention since I always handed in my work on time.

But as I finished my work, she had me clean 3 pots that had some green ooze inside, someone's idea of a joke to get out of class early, I had guessed. By the time I got out of the greenhouses it was dark outside.

I began to walk back to the castle, I imagined...I hoped that I would walk in the Common Room and see my friend sitting in his red and gold chair he had claim by the window, with James and Peter with similar chairs beside him, trying to be there for our friend...our brother as best they could-

Suddenly the most horrible, gut-wrenching scream that I have ever heard, echo a crossed the dark, cold, lonely Hogwarts Grounds. Pulling me out of my thoughts, I looked around, without realizing what I was doing, I began running toward the direction of the scream, my heart pounding in my chest, then another horrid scream filled the nighttime air of the Grounds.

I increased my speed, toward the Stone Circle where I heard a familiar voice I disliked. My heart stopped, along with my whole being when I saw-

Bellatrix attacking Sirius! I didn't want to believe it! But it was true... Why was she? They are family! Normal wizard families don't attack each other like this! Especially when they have done nothing wrong- But then I remember that Sirius's family were cruel, horrid people that hated anything and anyone that wasn't pure-blood.

And Sirius had done something wrong, several things in their eyes, being sorted into Gryffindor, hating his parents and everything they believed, and now for doing something that only make us human- for _crying_ for 'being weak' as his family thinks, and his punishment was…

No... She was going to...

_"Avada-!" _

NO! _"Expelliarmus!"_ I yelled running beside my friend. God...he looked...lifeless, his blood was everywhere…

"Who dares-!?"

My inner wolf took control over me for a few moments. How dare she do this to my friend!

_"Stupefy!"_ I shouted pointing my wand at Bellatrix, she moved to her right, dodging it with ease. I carefully picked Sirius up with one arm, I looked at him as he flinched painfully, he tried to get of my grip. But rested his head on my should instead, I tightened my hold on him to a one-arm hug, to try and make him see that someone was here to help him, and that someone was so sorry!

He then became limp in my one-arm hug. Oh God! No...! _Don't die Sirius! Please! _ Panic filled my body, along with anger. I look around for Bellatrix, but found that she was gone, must have made her escape when my focus was on Sirius! I had to get him to the Hospital Wing; I have to tell Professor Dumbledore what had happened-

Wait…..If I told what I had seen, Sirius would get even more tortured then this. Knowing my friend well enough to know that he ( if he survived) wouldn't tell anyone what happened to him. Aware of how furious his family would be with him for tattling on family, for something that he (in their eyes) deserved. And for all the other things that they think he has done wrong.

His parents would even- Is it possible that his own parents would kill him? I remember the things that Sirius always said about his horrid family..Yes they would and are capable of killing their own son.

I groan in frustration. This means that I can't say anything, or even let anyone know that I was a witness to my friend being attacked, I didn't want him to be hurt worse than he already is, when he returns home from school.

I gulped dryly, a lump forming in my throat. And walked toward the Hospital Wing, laid my friend carefully against the stone wall, knocked as hard as I could on the doors to get Madam Pomfrey's attention.

I then with much distress forced myself to walk away from Sirius and hid behind a pillar when I heard the Hospital Wing door open and Madam Pomfrey's horrible cry of alarm.

It took every bit of my strength to not go running back to my friend when I heard him cry out in agony from the prefects as they tried (and failed) to lift him without causing him more suffering.

I walked unsteadily up the Grand Staircase, through the Common Room and into the boys bedroom. The heaviness I was feeling grew more when I looked at Sirius's bed, knowing why he wasn't in it…. Knowing that why the beds sheets weren't messy and in the floor, or that I couldn't hear his snores that would usually keep me up on a regular night, were nowhere to be seen or heard.

…Just made my heart feel heavy and my eyes sting...

...

"Remus! Remus, wake up!" I heard someone shout franticly.

I realized it was Peter, what else is that it was no longer dark outside or in the boy's room. I groaned, my whole body aches and I don't remember why. I wasn't even aware that I had fallen asleep, and I was still _so _tired.

I rolled over turning away from Wormtail. This made Peter shake my shoulder violently.

"Remus! Wake _up_! I need to tell you something, something urgent _now_!" Peter said fear in his voice

I squeaked my eyes tighter. "Tell me later Wormtail!" I said sounding meaner than I meant too.

"_Remus!" _Wormtail snapped suddenly as he stamped his foot on the ground.

"Peter! _Please_!" I all but shouted at him, still facing away from Wormtail.

Peter exhaled noisily. "Fine…" he said as he walked out of the room, leaving me alone.

_What was he on about? _I thought tiredly. Couldn't he see how exhausted I looked? I had a long, dreadful nig—

_Wait…_.I froze… Sirius… the prank, my anger and hurt towards him, him running out of the Great Hall and being attacked, almost near death, me saving him… I remembered _everything _in that moment, and I can't believe that I forgot even only for a few seconds that my friend was in the Hospital Wing-

_"I need to tell you something, something urgent _now_!" _Peter's words echoed in my head, the terror in his small voice. Was he coming to tell me that Sirius was-

_Oh God… _My eyes snapped open; I jumped out of bed no longer tired. Swinging the wooden door open, I ran down the steps, colliding with a Gryffindor was a couple years older than me.

"W_aah! _" she shrieked almost falling to the ground

I ignored her, feeling guilty reminding myself to apologize to her later. But another Gryffindor named Toby caught my arm "Remus! Finally you get up! Everyone-" but was cut off

I tried to get my arm out of his grip "Can't talk, I have to go-"

"Remus, calm down! Sirius is fine!"

I stopped abruptly. I turned toward him "How do you-?"

"The _whole _school knows that Sirius was attacked, the only thing we don't know is who did it. Most of us Gryffindors have already been to see him..." Toby hesitated "He's in pretty bad shape…but he's alive."

I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes. Letting everything he said sink in. _Thank God..._ Toby let go of my arm and I sank into one of the chairs.

"Who-" I cleared my throat as it cracked a little "Who's with him now?"

"James is there, and Peter just left a couple of seconds ago to join him" Toby said

_That's what Peter was going to tell me._ I thought.

"You going to go visit him?" Toby asked

I looked at the floor. Was I? I knew it was the best thing to do, considering how I've been toward him. I should go see him, and apologize, and finally forgive Sirius, to finally _trust _him again.

Yes… It's the appropriate thing to do…

But... I just… can't, I can't face Sirius, I've treated him so badly. He might turn down my apology like I did so many of his... But then if I stayed away our friendship, our brotherhood would stay broken…

"Eventually" I muttered

* * *

Sirius's POV:

Present Day:

James and Peter helped me to the Gryffindor Table after I told them that I refused to lie down anymore and wanted something to eat from the Great Hall. Which I wasn't hungry at all, I just wanted to see if Remus was there and what his reaction (if he even has one) would be when he sees me all bandaged up.

Probably nothing like the reactions I have gotten from the girls that have passed the Gryffindor Table. A Ravenclaw girl with her brunette hair pulled back in a ponytail, maybe a year younger than me gave me a red and gold get-well card. That shot out into the air "HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON!" in bold pink glowing letters and also said in smaller ones "We should start talking more" that appeared on the card instead of in the air.

A Hufflepuff girl walked up to me and said "I hope that you get to feeling better soon Sirius. whoever did this to you should be ashamed of themselves, hurting that handsome face of yours shou—" she stopped abruptly, she hadn't mean to say the last sentence as her face turning 3 shades of red turned and ran down the corridor.

James who sat beside me, gave me a wink and said with a grin "Someone's famous!"

"Shut it!" I muttered but couldn't hide the smile that appeared on my face. Even under the circumstances of how horrible I was feeling, I had to admit that I was very pleased with all the attention I was getting.

Prongs held up his hands in defense. "I'm just saying, if girls are like this every time they see a guy hurt, then maybe—"

"James! You're not really got to hurt yourself just to get attention from loads of girls?" Wormtail asked

"Of course not! Just _one _girl, and I was planning to just wrap myself in bandages actually!" James smiled but slowly faded. I turned my head and understood why, walking into the Great Hall was Remus; he looked like he was at death's door. There was definitely something wrong with my friend, and even though we aren't on speaking terms, and severely injured or not I'm determined to find out what was wrong.

To my disappointment, Remus didn't go pass us; he goes to the opposite side and sat at the far end of the Gryffindor Table. I blinked several times, _NO!_ I told myself fiercely blinking back the tears. _I am not going to cry! Not here, Not again. _I feel a slight pressure on my shoulder; I look up and see Prongs comforting me as much as he can with so many people around.

"Hey! Black!" I turned to see a male Slytherin that looked two years older than me, with dark brown short hair and a big nose, walking toward me. "You still alive? That's a disappointment!"

I glared at him, really wasn't in the mood to deal with the Slytherins. "Get lost!" I hissed turning around quickly, wincing as my body started to burn and throb.

"Know your place cousin!" a voice shrieked, I froze... the glare I was giving to the Slytherin boy melted off my face.

"Back off, you old Hag!" James said harshly getting up from the table

Bellatrix laughed manically "Come and get me Potter!" drawing her wand.

James took out his. _"Expelliarmus!"_

Bellatrix laughed, dodging it _"Cru-"_

"No!" I shouted throwing an empty goblet at her, I gripped my arm tightly as it throbbed

The goblet hit Bellatrix in the side of the head, Causing her to stagger back a little

"Get lost, _cousin_!" I snarled gritting my teeth, as I stood up, swaying slightly

"YOU _dare _hit-"

"Y-Yes, I dare" I glared as best as I could at her, trying to hide to everyone else, that I was terrified of my cousin... But the hesitation in my voice failed to convince Bellatrix and everyone else.

She gave the most emotionless glare I have ever seen that I took a step backward.

Bellatrix raised her wand "_C-_"

"What is going on here!?" a female voice yelled. I turned to see Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore standing there, looking quite bewildered. McGonagall had her arms crossed with a stern, warning expression on her face, Dumbledore just looked concerned, curious, and calm all at the same time.

"Well? I am expecting an answer." she stated

I cut James off from speaking "We're just having some dueling practice is all Professors, can't be to prepared, you know." I said successfully faking a happy smile, hoping it would make my lie more believable. It did.

Professor McGonagall looked a bit shocked by my answer, it was obvious that was not what she expected I'd say. "Well Mr. Black I am glad that you are trying to improve at least one of your classes. But remember, you are still in pain, I believe Professor Dumbledore here, told you not to over do it?" she asked I nodded my head. "In the future try to practice dueling in class when a teacher is present, that goes to ever student here as well" she stated looking around the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin Tables.

"Yes, Professor McGonagall." everyone announced

"Very well" she said walking away. Dumbledore looked at me for a few minutes, he smiled, his eyes shining with kindness. He too walked away.

I exhaled the breathe I didn't realize I was holding shakily. "You okay Padfoot?" Prongs asked

"I..." I chewed on the inside of my cheek. _What a mess... _"..I don't know how to answer that right now James..." I said honestly because I really didn't. I looked at James and he nodded, understanding. I gave him a small smile. I sat back down, Prongs hovering over me to make sure I don't injure myself further.

I felt Peter watching me. "Relax Wormtail." I said turning my head to Peter. "Your hands are twitching. Every thing's alright"

Wormtail laced his fingers together, trying to stop the twitching. "How can I relax? Sirius? Huh? I can't! You can not ask that of me, cause I just can't! Not with everything thats happened!" Peter squeaked out loudly

I looked away. After every thing: The prank, Remus hating, the confrontation that James and Remus had at the Great Hall, me being attacked, now this? I don't blame Peter for being agitated. In fact I'm surprised it didn't start sooner, or maybe it did... and I just never noticed or realized it.

I inhale, finding the air, the atmosphere in the Great Hall to be overwhelmingly stuffy all of a sudden. I licked my chapped lips.

"Well." I said breaking the silence, as I swung my legs slowly and carefully around and got up. "I'm going for a walk." Catching James and Peter off guard for a few seconds, then they began to rise from where they sat.

"-Alone." I announced

"-But Sirius-"

"-Mate, your still hurt, you could-"

"-I'll manage! Okay?" I huffed out and walked away. I understood why they were worried. I did. I probably didn't really look all that attractive to look at. And I am grateful for their help, I really am. But I need...some time to think, figure out what the hell I'm I suppose to do? How to fix all of this _chaos _that I have brought to the surface?

I walked on. My body protested each step of the way, by sending sharp pains to my head all the way down to my toes.

"Hey BLACK!"

I groaned. _Why can't they leave me alone? For like five minutes? Is that to much to ask? _"What!?" I snapped stopping abruptly, looking up to several Slytherin boys. The leader of the pact, or who looked like it from my opinion was a seventh year named Kyrus Barkel, he stepped forward smirking.

"Want a rematch?" he challenged

"Sorry Barkel, didn't ya hear? McGonagall said no dueling without a teacher present." I said trying to sound like my usual self "And as you can see" I gestured around the outdoor area we were in. _That just happened to have _no_ students around any where to help me out. _"There are no teachers present."

He scoffed. "Oh I don't give a damn what that hag said" Barkel laughed drawing his wand, his friends drew theirs too. He pointed his at me, waiting for me to draw mine, but I didn't. What was the point? I am in no shape to fight at all, so I just stood there. Stick straight with my hands at my sides.

_Whatever Barkel and his group do to me, can't and will never be any worse than what Bellatrix and Snivellus did to me. _I thought, because it was true.

_"Stupe-!" _

_"Expelliarmus!" _Someone called out, and a thin beam of white light went shooting past me and hit Barkel, knocking his wand out of his hand.

_"Reducto!" _Another spell came flying by me and hitting the ground causing an explosion of dirt and grass, a couple of inches away from Barkel, getting caught off guard it caused him to go flying backward into his friends, knocking them all to the ground.

Someone sprinted behind me, grabbing my right wrist and jerked my forward and started running. "C'mon lets hide before they get up and chase us."

I looked back to see Kyrus trying to get out of the tangled and whining mess of the other younger Slytherin boys. I kept my eyes on them, it was quite a funny sight to see. Under different circumstances I and along with James would be laughing until we could hardly breathe.

But I wasn't laughing, I was keeping a look-out. I finally started observing my surroundings when the hand clinging my wrist let go, I scanned the area or rather room I was in from left to right. To my surprise it was a room I didn't even recognize. It was just an empty room, that had six floating but not moving candles illuminating it. The room itself had a shelf of books that looked new, next to the shelf was a chair, a table, a crossed there was a desk, filled what you would usually see on a desk.

It was just a simple room, nothing fancy or flashy, like it would've been if Prongs and I had found it first.

"We should be safe in here, No one knows about this room but me, and now you." a voice said

I turned around to where the voice was. What- Who I saw standing there, literally shocked me.

"Remus?" I blurted out

I couldn't believe it, Remus was here? Remus saved me from those Slytherin's? Remus Lupin was standing right in front of me? Why? After what happened between us? He hates me!

"Are you okay?" Remus asked

Did he really just ask that? Why? He doesn't care.

"W-What?" I stuttered completely baffled by what was going on. _This has to be a dream, that's the only reason why Remus would be speaking to me at all._

"Are you alright, Sirius?" he asked again, taking a step forward, concern in his eyes.

Wait. Concern? Why would he be? We haven't talk, spent time with or done _anything _together in two months.

"Sirius?" he said the concern, worry still there

I took a step back, my head was spinning, I was getting dizzy because I was so confused.

"Pad-?"

"Why?" I finally asked. Wanting answers, "Why did you save me from Barkel? Why are you helping, _talking _to me, Remus?"

"Why? Your my best friend Sirius, that's why." he answered

"Since when? You and I haven't been _best friends_ in two months." I retorted

Moony flinched and took a deep gulp. "I know.." he whispered it was barely there but I heard it.

" 'I know'. What is that suppose to mean?"

He looked at me, glaring a little. "I know that we haven't spoken in a while, I know that I have been a rubbish friend."

_Rubbish friend? He must have that backwards. I'M the rubbish friend. _But i still found myself wondering. "Then why haven't you said anything to me? Try be friends again!" I said

"Because I was _hurting _Sirius! I still _am_, but when you ran out of the Great Hall and when-" Moony broke off as he turned around, his back now faced me.

"When, what?"

Silence

"And when I saw Bellatrix about to kill you, I completely forgot everything bad that happened between us..." He answered

I was shocked all over again. Merlin's Beard. _He was the one that save me. _

He took a step toward me "As much as the prank hurt me, how it still hurts me. I'd be hurting a lot more if I had lost one of my brothers. The prank aside Sirius, you have never done me wrong, like James said you've always been there. I'm so sorry Padfoot, sorry I didn't see it before."

I shook my head. No, He shouldn't be the one apologizing, _I'M the one who screwed up. Not him!_"Don't you say your sorry! Do. Not." I told him fiercely as I began pacing "You have _nothing _to apologize for, I am the one who told Snape how to get past that damn tree, I'm the one that stupidly almost got a student killed, that caused two of his friends to not speak to him for a month and the one that was most effected by it all for two. I'm the one who cause you to hate me. I AM the one who almost got his friend arrested for killing someone when its not his fault that he can't control the wolf. I know what they do to werewolves, they do horrible, cruel, gruesome things. If James hadn't stepped in, I would be the one responsible for getting his best friend killed!" My voice broke at the word 'killed'

I became aware that my body was shaking, my breathing was hitched._ Do. Not. Cry! Not here, not in front of Remus!_ I told myself, but my body just kept shaking, my breathing just kept getting more hitched "I'm the one who should be sorry Remus- Who _is_sorry!...I-I'm sorry Moony" I finally said. Tears that I pushed back fell down my cheeks, I tried to swipe them away with the back of my robe sleeve, but they just kept coming.

I felt a hand cup my chin and raised my head up, I looked into the face of Remus Lupin, his gaze looked like they held sadness, guilt, worry, relief, and forgiveness all together. He smiled at me, a sincere genuine smile, a smile only he could make. "Sirius Black, I do not hate you. You are my friend, You are my brother, I forgive you Padfoot." Moony said tears threatening to spill over his eyes.

I made a noise between a laugh and a sob of relief. Without even hesitating, I hugged him. And he returned it. I cried, I sobbed out all the sadness, all the hurt, the disappointment, the guilt, against him, he just tighten his hold. My legs gave way soon and we both ended up on our knees on the ground.

I felt wetness run down my neck and realized he was crying too. His body was shaking almost as much as mine was. "I forgive you, Sirius. Now please do me a favor and forgive yourself." Remus whispered as he cried tightening his hug even more.

Eventually my sobs turned into silent tears, as did Moony's. We just sat on the floor, still hugging each other. If anybody else saw us, they'd think we were strange, two men hugging each other in a abandoned, forgotten room, But I can't bring myself to care, Remus is my brother, there's nothing wrong with hugging your brother.

_Which reminds me_...

"Remus?" I whispered

"Hmm?"

"Where'd you find this place at?"

He chuckled against me. "A year ago, I was walking around each of the floors when I came a painting, it looked awful, covered in dirt, it was ripped in several places... You know my love of artwork, and I couldn't just walk away and leave it. So I said a few cleaning charms, repaired the tears and then it surprised me by talking."

"What'd it say?" I asked letting go of Remus and looking at him, my interest peaked.

He smiled "He said 'Merlin's beard! Finally someone cleaned me! Thank you young man! I have been this way for... What was it? 10 years? Good God, I forgot! But anyway, thank you so much! And to show my gratitude you may use my storage room behind me. It use to be filled with lots of things now though there are dust and spider webs. Do with it what you wish.' He asked me for my name, I told him and I've had it ever since." Remus finished

"You had this for a year and didn't say anything to us?" was the first thing I thought.

"C'mon Sirius, if you guys found this what would've you and James have done?" Moony replied smirking, tilting his head a little.

I smiled sheepishly "Oh, Right I see what you mean."

Silence pasted between us. I looked around the room again, my body ached and throbbed, as if it was saying 'Pay back for all the painful activity you put yourself through, when you know your hurt!'

"Padfoot?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you..." Remus paused I turned my head to him. "Are you going to tell Professor Dumbledore what happened... with you and Bellatrix? I mean you obviously remember who attacked you."

"No" I said quickly.

"Sirius! Why? She almost killed you! You almost _died_! She-"

Wait. He saved me. He could've explained the event anytime. "Remus, if this is so important to you, why didn't you say anything yourself?"

He gaped at me. "B-Because I know what they will do to you if anyone knew-"

"Exactly. That's why _I'm _not saying anything."

He nodded. "Still" Moony said "She deserves some sort of punishment. After what she-"

"Moony-" I hesitated I can't believe I was going to tell him this. I'm I insane?... Heh probably. "My cousin wasn't alone that night, someone else was with her, helping her."

Remus put his hands on my shoulders. Shock and concern in his eyes yet again. "Who was it Padfoot?"

I sighed closing my eyes. "Take away all the Slytherins that only hate us to look cool, and who's the one besides Bellatrix that _loathes_ us more than she does?" I answered opening my eyes to see Remus's face red with rage.

_"_S-Sirius... Snape?_ Snivellus _did this to you? I... I-" Moony half stammered, half hissed out, his hands dropped from me shoulders

Now I was concerned. As long as we have gone to school together, I don't ever remember Remus calling Snape, _Snivellus. _It was a name only James and I used. So to hear Moony of all people say it... That was something.

I looked at Remus, I've seen my friend angry many times, When you take away his chocolate bar as a joke, you see a small amount, small... But scary enough to scare the hell out of you. But this... This wasn't anger, far from it. This was fury

Suddenly he got up and started pacing around the room, he ran his hands through his hair. "I... He has the _nerve to_..." making a noise between a growl and snarl. _Uh oh..._ I knew that sound. That was the sound of pissed animal wanting to attack.

I licked my lips. "Remus calm down it's-"

"NO!"

I froze. Looking at Moony, his hands were clinched into fists, they were shaking and his knuckles were white, his face was redder than before. His eyes glared at me, small unshed tears lingering there. This was a side of Remus John Lupin I have never seen before, and I don't like it.

"You know why he did it Moony, to get back at me, he almost died cause, no wonder Snape did what he did, if it hadn't been for me, telling how to get past that damn tree..." I trailed off the guilt came back, heart wrenching, bubbling, guilt. I don't think if it will ever truly go away.

My vision became dark when I found myself pressed up against Remus's dark robes. He was hugging me again. I felt his hands clinched the back of my robes, out of anger or sadness I couldn't tell.

"That's no excuse..." He whispered taking a big gulp. A second later his body stiffened. "That is _no excuse _for hurting my brother!"

Then I found myself flat on my butt. I looked up to see Moony running out of the portrait hole. "REMUS!" I yelled jumping up, I gasped, falling to my knees, as I felt white-hot pain shoot through my entire body. I doubled over my head between my knees, putting my arms around my stomach and chest. I gasped for breathe, for air. I could get neither both. I started coughing, and hacking, tasting iron.

_G-God this hurts!... I need help! _I thought painful. Slowly and with much difficulty I sat up. Removing my arms from my chest and stomach, and saw that my hands, my dark sleeves were covered in blood making my sleeves darker than they usually are, it was my blood.

"Sh...it.." I tried to say. Found it impossible, since I still couldn't barely breathe. This wasn't good. My wounds had reopened.

_Moony... _My head snapped up. Remus! Where did he run off to? Why did he run off? He was furious for what Snape did to me but why-

My heart almost stopped. Moony wouldn't tried- hurt Snape, or kill him? _The anger I saw, the clinched, white almost bleeding fists, the red with fury face..._

_Oh god... Remus...He wouldn't... Moony DON'T! _I flinched, cringed and moaned as I forced myself to my feet. I staggered to the portrait hole, stumbling out and grabbing it as it opened.

I limped down the hallway, down the first flight of stairs i came a crossed. _Remus...Please don't... do anything. What ever it is. Hurt him, Kill him. Don't. Do. It. _My vision became white blurred, The realization that I had missed a step, didn't occur to me until it was to late. I tumbled down the cold, hard stone staircase. Someone screamed. But I didn't know if it was me or some one else. When I stopped, I couldn't move, my whole being burned, screamed to me.

_Moony... Please...don't kill Snape... You'll get arrested...I can't lose my brother again..._

As people students and teachers gathered around me. Voices muffled. I did the one thing that got me in this mess in the first place, the one thing that I do out of agonizing pain, worry and deep concern, and unlike how I did before, I don't care that I'm showing it nor do I care who sees.

I cry. Hot tears streamed down my face. I couldn't breathe. Every time I tried to move, my body would protest, burning. The noises everywhere gave me a splitting headache...

"Remus..." I said it was barely audible

Then I knew no more...

* * *

AN: Damn I'm being really mean to Sirius! ;) Ohhhh Remus is PISSED! You really think he's going to hurt/kill Severus? How did you guys like this chapter?

Remember to REVIEW!


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